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WHATEVER COMES INTO MY HEAD

I HAVE DECIDED
It has taken me a hell of a long time to agree with this in my head so I hope that people will appreciate the pain that I have had to go through.
It has most certainly not been easy and PLEASE do not ask me why this writing has changed - That is not of my doing.
I have decided that I have far too much here in 20six that I would not like to lose - They are MY memories and if they go then I might never regain them!
BUT
I have just started to do a 'video blog' on YouTube that I might keep up or I may not - The only thing that you will have to put up with is me, in person, face to face telling you things - Could you REALLY put up with that rather than my writings???
I have started already on
http://www.youtube.com/user/CarlisleCockney
Tell me if I am totally crap or I am getting somewhere.

13.8.06 22:32, comment

I AM DISGUSTED
The image “http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/crime/terrorists/abu-musab-al-zarqawi/zarqawi-large.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
First of all, may I say that I was going to get rid of this blog AND the one over at 27 because I was disgusted with 20six for not listening to us original bloggers and doing all of these changes.
I hate losing Concorde in the background and all of my friends in my favourite lists - It is funny really because I still have my 'outside' links and yet I lose the people closer to me!
Obviously, 20six still have this in a beta format and have not finished because we must re-arrange our writings every time that we want to write a new sentence.
ANYWAY
I cannot stop writing when I feel that I have things in my mind that I feel MUST be written - You can't keep a good man down.
RIGHT
I have been TOTALLY disgusted with the Western press today over the glorification of the death of Abu Al Zarqawi who was the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq and even showing pictures of his dead body on the television!
I find this to be revolting and sends the wrong message to EVERYBODY on all sides
YES
Of course the guy had to be caught because he was totally evil but he should have been put on trial like Saddam Hussein, (who by the way, I still hope is not executed because I cannot agree with one human killing another human), and not blatantly paraded across the Western press like old farmers used to do with moles on a barbed wire fence to try to deter others!
I thought that humans had evolved into a stage where we are more caring for others but obviously I have got that wrong as well because we are still animals AND nasty animals at that! I wouldn't shed one single tear if God decided to eradicate the whole human race because something needs to be done DESPERATELY to sort out the wheat from the chaff - I am hating the whole of humanity at the moment!!!

7 Comments 9.6.06 02:52, comment

KNIFE AMNESTY? HUMPPHH!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1655000/images/_1659797_knives300.jpg


People that know me will know that I am a down right cynic.

I
think that with the years that I have put in on this Planet breathing
its fetid air that I have a right to state the obvious to me, which may
not be obvious to others, just through experience and nothing else.
Also I have listened and learned from people older than myself which I
am very thankful for because they passed on their experiences to me to
carry on their memories after they were no longer here. Unfortunately,
the youth of today, (or the ones that I meet, read about and see on the
TV anyway), just do not listen to reason - They think that they know it
all!
I am 46 years old and I am STILL learning!

Anyway

I am getting right off the topic that I wish to talk about here.

Today a National knife amnesty was broadcasted and what do I think will happen about this?

I
have seen a LOT of Governments and people attached to that authority
come and go since 1959 and I have seen a LOT of promises made by
various groups that have all turned out to be a lot of hot air after
they attained power. This knife amnesty is obviously trying to get our
minds on that while they are doing something behind our backs, probably
sorting out The Home Office - I have seen them do this so many times!

THE AMNESTY

Does
anybody in the whole of The United Kingdom REALLY believe that
gangsters, thugs, bullies and kids that do not have a developed brain
yet will put their weaponry in a bin outside a police station?

I THINK NOT!

The
ONLY people that put knives in those bins are people that have a
conscience and probably would never use them unless they were panicking
in a particular circumstance.

The people that NEED to be
disarmed will NEVER go to a cop shop and dispose of the things that
make them feel so powerful and are not afraid to use them - I know - I
have met these kinds of people.

If it wasn't so serious I would burst out laughing!








Current mood:

GRUMPY

8 Comments 24.5.06 17:49, comment

MY EMANUEL
forest


I have just dropped in for a couple of minutes just to let everybody know that I am still alive.

First
of all I must apologise for not writing for a while. That gastric flu
that was diagnosed last September can't have been gastric flu because
the pains in my guts have just been getting worse and worse and now the
pain is starting to spread up my spine and either side of my back. I am
in a LOT of pain that ordinary painkillers don't ease.

I am
DEFINITELY seeing my doctor next week because I cannot stand the pain
anymore. I have cancelled a few appointments and I don't know if that
is a 'guy' thing because we don't like going to the doctors and
admitting defeat or I am just putting off what is REALLY causing all
this pain. Anyway, I WILL be going next week.

Now for the good news

I have met a guy on the internet and he makes me feel like a teenager again.

Emanuel
is 29 and he lives and works in Jakarta, Indonesia - It's such a shame
that he is 7,291 miles away but with God's help we will meet soon.

We
are constantly on messenger and we have spoken on the phone a few times
and I can honestly tell you all that I have fallen in love with him. I
feel like I have known him for years and I want to be with him and he
wants to be with me.

He is a graphic designer, working in Jakarta but he also works in China, Malaysia and Singapore.

This is a poem that he chose for me a couple of nights ago

Until we meet

My nights will be a little colder

My days a little shorter

My heart will beat a little less rapid

Until we meet

I know that my arms will be empty

My mind hurting from the constant thought of you

Minutes will seem to be hours

Hours will seem to be months

While months will seem like eternity

Until we meet

The stars in the sky will not affect me

with its gleaming sparkles of life



Until I am gazing at them in your arms

And the food that I eat will not be as fulfilling and nourishing

Until it is you that I share my food with

And until we meet

I will not feel whole

My world will seem incomplete

Until that wonderful day

When our eyes make first contact

And our bodies and souls collide in blissful whirlwind

The words will roll off my tongue like a sweet love song


"Hello, my love, I couldn't wait to meet you."

Isn't that just SO sweet?

No wonder I have fallen for him in a BIG way.

That is his pic at the top - Isn't he lovely?

BUT

Hands off everybody. He belongs to me.




 







Current mood:

IN PAIN BUT IN LOVE

7 Comments 23.5.06 06:01, comment

CRYING TIME

http://www.chicagowilderness.org/images/photos/white-tail-fawn.jpg

I
have been pulling what is left of my hair out over the past few days
because of my total stupidity of downloading IE Beta 2. I have tried
everything to correct what mistakes that Microsoft have put into my
computer but I have got absolutely nowhere!

WHY THE FUCK COULD I NOT WAIT FOR THE FINISHED VERSION???

I
downloaded Opera Beta 9 but they didn't wipe the previous Opera off my
computer during downloading so why could the thick fucks at Microsoft
not do that or is it just too fucking complicated for them to think of
such simple things?

I have made Mozilla Firefox as my 'Default
Browser' now although there are a LOT of things that I need to learn
about it but I do not want to delete Internet Explorer until they make
it better in case there is something in there that I need!

NOW
What has been making me cry over the past couple of days?

Apart
from my problems with Internet Explorer and bashing my head against a
brick wall because of my total stupidity there have been three things
that come to mind.

The first is probably because I have been forgetting to take my Prozac because of all my frustrations with IE7

The
second is a story that I read in the Daily Mail yesterday about a poor
deer fawn that had to be adopted by a wildlife rescue centre at an hour
old because her Mother had just been killed by a car on a road in
Somerset. The Mother was just probably SO pleased that she had just
given birth to a healthy baby girl and wanted to tell all her friends
about it and went skipping off.................................right
into the path of a car!
I am still crying over that!

The
third is a story that I have just been reading in www.digg.com (I MUST
put them on the top of my sites so I know what is new - They put in
things that can teach you about programming and all those kinds of
things), about a bear that was shot and killed in Alaska I think.
After
DNA analysis it was found out that this bear had a Grizzly Bear Father
and a Polar Bear Mother so it was pretty special. Although these have
been cross-bred in zoos, this was the first time that one had been
found in the wild. It seems quite strange because normally with hybrids
such as this, they are infertile as natures way to keep the blood-line
but Grizzly and Polar cross-breeds are able to reproduce.

I
REALLY don't know which is the stronger emotion here - Sorrow that the
poor thing is dead or hatred for the rich American that thinks that it
is fun to go out on the ice and kill another living creature just for
the fun of it!!!

I will DEFINITELY get to people's blogs tonight, I have a few things to do this afternoon - I have finished with IE7!






Current mood:

A WHIRLPOOL OF EMOTIONS

14 Comments 12.5.06 14:13, comment

BOLLOCKS!



I

downloaded Microsoft's Internet Explorer 7 - Beta 2 a couple of days

ago and I am having nothing but problems with it - It keeps re-starting

my computer because of 'pop -ups'!

If anybody can help me with this

problem, I would be very grateful - Knocking off the 'pop up' disabler

does nothing because it just switches itself back on!



I am using

Mozilla Firefox at the moment to write this, which is a browser that I have

never really been able to get on with because it will not let me 'cut

and paste' images, which is my preferred way of doing that, amongst

other things.



I will try to get to people's blogs some time

today - I am going to try switching things on and off on my computer to

see if I can get to the bottom of the problem with IE7



















Current mood:

BANGING MY HEAD ON A BRICK WALL

10 Comments 9.5.06 10:52, comment

Download thousands of songs a day, legally - now with album art goodness


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5 Comments 7.5.06 10:20, comment

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